When I woke up on July 27, 2015. I had a text from my dad and it just said "Hi". I instantly felt like something was might be wrong because he doesn't normally send messages to me in the middle of the night. I responded to him and I didn't hear anything back so I figured he was sleeping (time difference). I got up and went to work. About 30 minutes after I got to work, I was settling in and going through the day's work and e-mails when my phone starts ringing. I answered it and all I could hear was my dad trying not to cry and I knew. He finally said "My mom died". This was the most heartbreaking moment of my life for so many reasons. I never got to meet her, Did she know I loved her dearly?, my dad's voice, my aunt crying in the background, just everything. The days following were filled with tears. I am happy though, that she is at peace and no longer in pain. I will always remember to never let fear rob me of anything again. I will stand in the face of fear and do whatever it is that I have to do. Because of fear, I will never meet my grandmother, never kiss her face. A part of me will always remain unawakened because I never met her. May she rest in peace and always be at my side.
I really can't say anything else. It's upsetting to think about. I do have some stuff to say about law school and the preparation for it. Tomorrow is my last day at my job. It will be very sad to leave. They have been so kind to me about my grandmother passing. They sent me a beautiful peace lily. I will plant it at my dad's house and always think of her when I see it. They keep telling me that they will miss me and it has been a real emotional time.
After Friday, I will have a week and a few days until school starts. It's scary and I'm getting nervous. At first I was super excited, which I am, but now it's getting real and I have no idea what to expect. I read too many things online and now I'm nervous. Anyone who reads this and is thinking of going to law school. DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT read crap that other people say online. It will only upset you and make you unsure of everything, which you do not need. Don't read peoples ranting about why one should not go to law school. Most of them didn't go or couldn't get in. Instead, read about what people did to prepare, personal blogs like mine, study tips, LSAT tips, positive things. You don't need random nobody's telling you why you shouldn't go. You have made up your mind and you want to go. Stay true to yourself. Abraham Lincoln said "If you are absolutely determined to make a lawyer of yourself, the thing is more than half way done". Always remember this. All that other stuff is just the noise of life. Learn to ignore it. I am still working on this.
I got the majority of my school supplies. The only things I really need are books. My school released the book list but then told us to wait until orientation to get books because the professors may change their minds... I was hoping to get the books before because professors put up assignments for us before school starts. I will just have to work my rear off the weekend between orientation and the first day of school.
I did buy a computer but it had dead pixels in the screen so I exchanged it and the second one I got didn't work. I returned that one and am computerless. I will be searching for one this weekend.
Anyway, my head is all over the place and I am still very upset about my grandmother, leaving my job, and starting my new journey. I really didn't think it was going to be such an emotional time. I'll update later about the things that go on in the next few days. Thank you to everyone for all the love and kind words that you have showered me with the last few days. It has been more appreciated than you know.