I have been in a strange mood. My grandmother, who I am deeply saddened to say I have never met, is having surgery and my dad will be traveling to Iran to be with her. She hasn't been feeling well and I just pray to God that I am able to meet this woman who I love dearly. I am afraid that if something happens to her without me meeting her, a part of myself may remain completely unawakened.
For those of you who don't know, I am half Persian. My mom is from the U.S. and my dad is from Iran, I have never been and never wanted to go until 2008 when I met some of my family who live in Canada. I met them Christmas day that year, It was the best Christmas of my life. I had no Idea what I was missing until I did. It was like meeting them unlocked some other dimension of myself. I was teased a lot growing up because I was different. I have dark hair, my name is different, and my dad, handsome as he is, looked different than other kids dads. For a weird little kid that just wanted to fit in, it was a nightmare. It wasn't until I met my dads family that I truly appreciated myself and embraced my differences. I finally didn't give a damn what any one thought, I became the truest version of myself just knowing my amazing family.
I just feel that if I never meet my grandmother, a part of me will be lost forever. Life is too short and too hard to loose things so precious. It has been fear that has held me back from meeting her. Fear of traveling to an unknown land that the media does such a good job at casting a bad light on. Fear in general. In most things in my life, I am fearless. I see something, no matter how unattainable and I go out and get it. Now I am faced with losing a person that I love and I know has loved me. You always think you have time... but you don't.
Anyway, there is that, among other things, that is weighing me down right now but enough about that. Yesterday was a really good day at my new law school. They hosted a series of discussions and a Q&A panel for high school students and college students considering the legal life and new 1L's like me.
All of the attorneys on the panel were females. The were amazing! They talked of their struggles of being females in a male dominated field. They mentioned going to court and everyone thinking they are the court reporter or a legal assistant. One lady even said that no one EVER has thought she was actually the attorney. Why is it that society is so biased (for lack of a better word) towards women in places of power? WHY!?!? Each and every attorney there was in a prestigious position. One of which even represented Kevin Costner! I just don't understand why society thinks women are somehow incapable... These women went on to explain how they approach these situations. They gave tips for studying and getting through law school. They talked about searching for a job after school. Overall, their words were inspiring.
After it was over, of course my school served us yet another amazing feast and I got a chance to network with some of my fellow students and professors. I also got a chance to talk to one of the fabulous ladies who spoke. She gave me great advice about moving after I graduate and how to get started making contacts now. I mentioned a few things that I have been doing to make contacts and she said I was on a great track. She even gave me numbers and e-mail address who I can contact to help me in the future. She made a comment that made a lot of sense. She said "It's not who you know, it's who knows you." She said to talk to as many people in the field of law that I want to practice. She said they will remember me and can help me in my job search in the future.
A few nights ago I sent a message to an animal rights attorney in Seattle and asked if he had any tips or if at some point in the future I could come and do an internship with him. He said he had no time for interns, however he gave me awesome tips and gave me the name and contact information of another animal rights attorney who can help me. He also gave me the web address of a site specifically for animal rights attorneys and law students. So while an internship at this time isn't an option, he gave me amazing information. Hopefully he remembers me in years to come. I will be making other contact this week and will let everyone know how that goes this week.
A few last things I want to mention: I received one of the best compliments I have ever been given in my life by a female attorney who was an inspiration to speak to. She said I was going places and that I would make a phenomenal attorney because I have good energy. This comment meant so much to me. I try daily to emit a positive energy and lift people up in my words and actions and I am very driven. For this person who I respect immensely to say that to me within five minutes of meeting me was quite possibly the best thing anyone has ever said to me. I am so honored by this compliment and I will remember it always.
I got a chance to speak to the director of career services for the law school and she gave me really good advice on how to quit my job and what to say. I am still so nervous about that and I just don't want to deal with the awkward situation. Her advice was good and I will more than likely use all of her suggestions.
Also, I got my very first sweatshirt that has my law schools name on it! I have a thing about sweatshirts and hoodies. I get super excited about them. :) Almost excited as I get about shopping for school supplies which I have to start soon. I know I need a desk chair and a new computer so any advice on either would be appreciated. I will need to get the usual stuff too like pens and notebooks.
Ok, so that's all I got for right now. I think I will pop in a movie and try to rest! I'm on my "staycation" from work for a week and I have a lot of things to get done in a short amount of time. Thanks for reading. Until next time...